Sometimes, between missions, the folks from the “Interpretation Shelter” would mingle with us Photo Processing types in the break shelter of the Photographic Processing and Interpretation Facility, commonly know as the “PPIF,” or vulgarly, “Piff on It!”
On one of these days, Lieutenant Nancy (last name withheld for the usual reasons, but if she reads this, please respond!) from the Interpretation Section was drinking a cup of coffee with us Enlisted Types, and complained that there was absolutely nothing for a woman to do after hours in all of Saigon. Everything was oriented for the male servicemen. Bars, Massage Parlors, Places for a “quickee,” and the ilk. I have no idea where she came up with that notion!
Now let me say this. Lieutenant Nancy was about five foot two, had short blonde hair, and blue-grey eyes. She was so cute that it hurt! Basically, enlisted men outnumbered officers by a great margin, and it was strictly forbidden for enlisted men to “fraternize with officers!” Realize that as bad as a tour of duty was in Vietnam, a stint in Leavenworth was even worse, and that is where you’d end up if a court-martial went against you!
Anyway, as soon as she said this, most of us “stripers” disagreed! Heck, there was a lot for people to do in Saigon besides the wild stuff that she had obviously heard from some other, undisclosed, people.
We saw it as our duty as red blooded American lads to prove it to her that a good time could be had in “The Pearl of The Orient, or “The Paris of the Orient,” depending on which travel agent to whom you were talking.
Since everyday in Saigon was the same, we told her that we’d take her on a group date to prove that a good time could be had without engaging in the wild times she had associated with this town.
After our shift ended, we changed out of our jungle fatigues into our 1505s khakis (or chinos) for the older folk and headed for the Main Gate and piled into a Hop-Tac to head for our first stop.
This was a restaurant whose card read “ThieaThai, Bo 7 Mon Dac Biet.” it was located at 246 Nguyen-huynh-Duc-Phu-Nhuan. This was a really neat place. It served a dinner that was basically “beef, seven ways!” I cannot remember all the ways, but one way was to grill your slices of beef on a flat stone atop a brazier of coal on the center of the table. Another variation was when they replaced the stone with a small cauldron of vinegar, in which you cooked your slices of beef in the boiling vinegar. These slices were then wrapped in lettuce and other sliced vegetables. A small cooked steak was another variation, and the rest have long left my memory. Of course, drinks were served!
From there we traveled to “The Ocean!” Their business card claimed “We are sure you will find it a pleasant experience we have good music charming hostesses, and low prices.” They closed at 6:00 p.m., so after a drink, we headed to another venue, whose name I’ve long forgotten, but….they had a Magic Show!
The fellow on the stage was a magician from the Old Days! Complete with Top Hat! He did the usual stuff you’d expect, rabbits from hats and magic wands that became flowers. Then they wheeled out the guillotine! Okay, this was a full size French Revolution guillotine! There were two openings. With great drama, he placed a head of cabbage in the top opening and proceeded to cleave it in half when the super sharp blade dropped. Proving that it worked, he called for a volunteer from the audience. We all responded with incredulity…..except for Harlan Remington! His hand shot up in Gomer Pyle fashion! As much as we tried to discourage this action, thinking about how if this went wrong the V.C. would have a great claim on their behalf, Harlan ran for the stage!
The blade was raised by a rope to the up and ready position.
Well this was going to be a short group date!
The magician placed Harlan’s head in the same top opening where the cabbage had been. He then placed another cabbage in the lower of the two openings.
The accompanying drum roll was provided by the patrons as they pounded on the tables.
The blade fell and Harlan’s head, and half the cabbage fell into the waiting basket!
No, of course not! the trick worked perfectly, and only the cabbage half fell into the basket! Harlan returned to his seat to a great round of applause from the audience!
Lieutenant Nancy was beginning to appreciate the night life more and more, we could tell.
At this point, the highlight of the evening, we took her to “our bar!”
For my regular readers, this was Tan’s Hotel and the Blue Bird Bar at 71 & 73 Nguyen van Thoai Street. Perfect, an ideal place for entertainment. Groovy sounds & melodious music charming girls comfortable rooms well known band reasonable price quick service laundry the finest and most magnificent place of good living in Nguyen Van Thoai Street. (So said their business card)!
When we walked in, the place was already hopping, live band as promised and a packed house of American servicemen, mostly Air Force Photo and Air Force Air Police types.
Our tan uniforms stood out like sore thumbs, and the Lieutenant’s Silver Bar shone in the light of the disco ball rotating from the ceiling. We were immediately seated by the Mama-san in a choice banquette seat near the dance floor. Drinks were had and shared, and pretty soon the girl I usually visited there pulled me aside.
“Who her?”
“Who?”
“Her, you know who!”
“Oh, her! She my boss at work!”
“Her?”
“Yes, see the silver on her collar? She an officer!”
“”She? Your boss? An officer?”
Her mind was completely blown! The fact that an American woman could rise to the rank of officer and to be the supervisor of men was way beyond her belief level.
That is when it got interesting.
One of the guys in the “group date,” got called away when he found out that his Vietnamese girlfriend was about to give birth to their baby. So long, Marc! But before he left, he produced a Versamat Drive Chain bracelet and placed it on the lieutenant’s wrist. While her attention was drawn elsewhere, Marc crimped the link closed that made it impossible for the bracelet to be removed without tools. One of my previous posts talks about the significance of these bracelets.
Another guy “got lucky” with one of the Tea Girls and decided to stay downtown for the night.
Another guy we knew would bail, since he had a “:regular thing” going for him.
So here it is, near curfew, and the band is beginning to play “In A Gadda Da Vida” and it isn’t the tease before a break. This is the time to get back to base before curfew! I look around, and it is me and Lieutenant Nancy! We head downstairs and grab a Hop-Tac back to the base.
Both of us are, well, a little wired from the night. I don’t know about her, but I’ve had a drink or three, and as we are headed back to the base, I’m beginning to think that maybe Fate made this happen. She seems happy, as am I. As we approach the Main Gate of Tan Son Nhut Air Base, the glare of the spotlights highlight her blonde hair, and her complexion is practically radiant! The guards recognize the silver bar on her collar and pass the Hop-Tac onto the Base, heading for Officer Country.
At this point I, a two striper enlisted man, start to ask myself the age old question, “Should I kiss the girl on the first date?”
One side of the coin is a great love story….the other side is me staring at the plains of Kansas for a long time!
I’ll let you guess the ending!
usaftourofduty 